As parts of the world go into Coronavirus lockdown, and you watch helplessly as your life gets turned upside down, how are you coping with this new normal?
Whilst both the threat of an unknown virus and that of economic uncertainty raise issues of your very survival, there is also the question of how you are going to survive the next few weeks living (and working) in such close proximity with your significant other and your children. Or maybe you’re home alone…
Is anybody else feeling claustrophobic yet?
My guest today, Mary Baird-Wilcock, talks us through some practical strategies to navigate these very challenging times ahead.
Show notes
- [04.46] Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and creating a safe space in your home.
- [08.29] Mary’s message of hope and love: “hope is what heals people.”
- [09.52] Coping with the new normal of the Coronavirus lockdown… Do less and slow down. Simplify!
- Be intentional about what you consume right now.
- Simplifying down how much you’re working.
- Remember to focus on love.
- [15.51] The need to deeply reflect.
- [19.20] Creating personal space when you’re living on top of each other 24/7
- TOP TIP: Boundaries!
- [25.57} Self care.
- [28.41] The impact on the world going forward.
- [35.22] Managing your expectations of yourself.
- [40.37] An opportunity for connection.
Learn more about Mary
- Search for The Simplifiers Podcast, wherever you’re listening to this podcast.
- Visit The Simplifiers website
- Find The Simplifiers on Facebook
- Follow @thesimplifiers on all other social media channels
Links mentioned in this episode
- The Simplifiers Morning Prompts – a free download!
- Now more than ever, I’m finding 7-minutes of journalling is helping me calm my mind and get centered every morning.
- So, start your day off right, download “The Simplifiers Morning Prompts.”
- It’s a free daily writing worksheet that helps you laser-focus in on what needs to get done today, what could trip you up and how you’re going to stay on track. 5 questions, 7 minutes… this worksheet will help you SIMPLIFY!
- DJ Mel’s Living Room Dance Party – every Saturday 6-10pm CDT or 1-5am S. Africa time – watch the replay the next day
- The Simplifiers – “A Whole Lotta YES” playlist – free music, perfect to move your body to!
- If you’re interested in getting a discount code for GoToMeeting (video conferencing software to take your meetings online) or downloading the Business Model Canvas (the simple, 1-page business plan), visit: thesimplifiers.com/contact, fill out the form, and they’ll send both over straight away via email.
Related posts or episodes
- Meet the Simplifiers with Mary Baird-Wilcock
- Surviving life’s big changes that are thrust on us
- Actually… YOU can change the world! with Sara Price
- What you need to do when the markets crash
- How to express everyday self-care with Dr Kelly Donahue
Quotes from this episode
“Abundance, self-actualisation, all of those things are always great concepts until Maslow’s bottom hierarchy of needs are threatened” – Lisa Linfield
“Through all of this, we need to respond with love, and not fear” – Mary Baird-Wilcock
“I’m simplifying down every single aspect of my life. Every single aspect. And not because ‘Oh yeah, that’s a good idea.’ It’s like ‘No, it’s a necessity’” – Mary Baird-Wilcock
“What do I need right now in this moment?” – Mary Baird-Wilcock
“The second you write it down on a piece of paper, and it comes up and out of you, your shoulders will start to drop a little” – Mary Baird-Wilcock
“We just have to remember how to reset, how to get our brains out of panic mode and into calm’ – Mary Baird-Wilcock
“But I think the secret is, truly, grace.” – Mary Baird-Wilcock
“When you move your body, you feel better.” – Mary Baird-Wilcock
“I think we as a global society, a community, have to really re-think how we work” – Mary Baird-Wilcock
“I also have this great hope that this is going to bring people together in new, profound ways” – Mary Baird-Wilcock
Transcript
Lisa Linfield:
Hello everybody and welcome to today’s episode of Working Women’s Wealth. Like most of you, my life has been completely up ended, and turned upside down, and roundabout with this Coronavirus lockdown. And I have to say that I thought that what I needed to do was to bring in an amazing human being who can help us to develop some really practical strategies around maintaining our sense of humor, self, and being through this difficult period of time. So, today’s guest is a returning guest, and I’d really love you just to engage with her amazing message.
Lisa Linfield:
I also decided that I was going to rise to the challenge and actually start a Facebook group. I have had a lot of insecurity around starting a Facebook group, mostly because I wonder, well, who on earth would want to be a part of it. But I’ve decided that now’s the time I need to step up. And I need to create a space for amazing talented women to just be there for each other, to promote each other, to build each other up, and to engage in a way that is positive. So, I want to redo the manifesto of this group, and invite you to search Brave To Be Free on Facebook, and find our group, and join us because I think it’s going to be amazing, and I think it’s going to get more and more important as we go on.
Lisa Linfield:
So, the manifesto is we are a global family of women who are actively trying to live our best life. We fall often, but we dig deep, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep on going because we believe that this life is worth living, and living as best as we can. We support each other with no judgment. We share our lessons in the hope that it may help us to be brave. But we’re always mindful that our journeys are as unique as each one of us are. We know that in every moment we have a choice. And if we are to live our best life, financially, physically, spiritually, relationally, and in our work, we need to make 1000 little choices every single day to be brave. To leave our comfort zones of habit for the greater purpose of our best life.
Lisa Linfield:
We believe that greatness lies in every one of us. Not the flashy kind, the genuine deep kind of greatness that acknowledges that we were perfectly designed to live in a community of talented humans, each of us bringing our unique talent and perspective to support the next. So, if this is a community that you want to join, that you believe in, I would love to have you go onto Facebook and either search Brave To Be Free, the Brave To Be Free group or alternatively go to Working Women’s Wealth, and if you look on the groups tab you can see the Brave To Be Free with Lisa Linfield group. Please do join and please do actively participate and support each other through this amazing time.
Lisa Linfield:
So, with absolutely no further delay, I would like to welcome the guest for today, Mary Baird-Wilcock, and she is the host of the Simplifiers Podcast. She’s been on our podcast before in Episode 90, and she spoke to us about simplifying life and business and gave some really great tools. I personally have used a number of the tools she mentioned almost every day in my business. So, it really transformed some of my efficiency and effectiveness through her podcasts. So, thank you so much, Mary, for joining us again, and for helping us to navigate through these really challenging times for our world.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
It is my absolute pleasure. I think everyone is feeling it right now. The world’s a little bit upside down right now, isn’t it?
Lisa Linfield:
Absolutely. And it’s a combination of both the world being upside down, and for me, personally, me being upside down, my life being upside down. And it feels like sometimes your life can be in control and you look at the world out there and it’s chaos, and sometimes it’s the other way around. But right now, for almost all of us it’s both. How are you doing with all of the challenges of Coronavirus and markets crashing?
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Well, I think it’s really interesting first and foremost to reflect on what you just said. There is a certain pull to create a safe space and sanctuary in your home right now, right? Making sure you have toilet paper, making sure you have food and medicine and water, and all those things to create that bubble that feels safe. But then there’s this whole other part of the world on the outside that’s happening as well.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
And so, I hope that when we talk through and I can share some of the things that are simply working for me in my life right now, and also what I am sharing with my clients and my community to remember Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. If you’re not familiar with it, imagine it’s a triangle. It’s a pyramid, if you will, that at the very, very base level is your physiological needs, food, water, warmth, rest. Next up above that is your safety needs, security, safety, home, all of that. Then up above that is belonging and community, love, intimate relationships, connecting with friends or neighbors. Above that is your esteem needs. So that may be a feeling of importance or a feeling of accomplishment, prestige, helping others in a big way. And then above that is self actualization, actually achieving one’s full potential.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Why I work through that if you’ve never seen Maslow’s hierarchy of needs or heard about it, is that a lot of the things we’re going to talk about, you’re probably not at a space right now, I’m willing to bet a nickel at the self actualization space or wanting to feel prestige or good self esteem. A lot of us are right at the very base level of this pyramid of physiological needs. Are we safe? Is there enough food in the pantry? What is happening? And so, I want to kind of preface that and say that right at the top of our conversation is that I’ll share some of the tips and things that are working for me right now in the last 24 to 48 hours, and you may be at the very, very base of that pyramid or you may be beyond that and go, “Okay, you know what, actually I’m at a space where I’m starting to reach out to my neighbors and have that sense of belonging.”
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
The bottom line is with the pyramid is that you can’t jump over one step to another. You have to start with physiological needs first, safety needs second, belonging third, esteem fourth, and then eventually back to self actualization.
Lisa Linfield:
I love the fact that it’s such a great place to start because I always say that abundance, self actualization, all of those things are always great concepts until Maslow’s bottom hierarchy of needs are threatened.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Yeah, until it’s blown out of the water, and then you’re like, “Yeah, thanks, Lisa, for telling me I need to meditate, but there’s no way I’m going to do that. Because I just got to make sure I’ve got enough canned foods in the pantry.” Yeah, you’re absolutely right.
Lisa Linfield:
Absolutely. And I think that we lose sight of how that bottom of that pyramid, that safety and security and protection, how important it is when life is good and Normal. And it’s only at times like these that you actually reflect on the inability to provide for your family financially means that you’re risking them in terms of having a house and food and all of that. And then even more basically a virus that can come in and attack inside our homes, and inside our lives and our community, that whole thing of creating a safe place for your family to be, your home. So, I think it’s fantastic that you started there.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Yeah. I really want to spread a message today in this conversation, one of hope, one of love, because I think a lot of us are at a space where we’re inundated with so much on the news and so much in our social media feeds. We’re watching a train wreck in our Facebook pages, and all the things of watching our friends and all the accounts from all over the world that I hope that today’s conversation, and what I share feels like a little bit of a breath of fresh air. And I also Want to be very, very clear, depending on where you are in the pyramid, in the hierarchy of needs, some of this stuff is going to resonate, and going to appeal, yes. And some of it is like, “I’m not even there yet.” And that’s totally fine. Give yourself the grace to take what you need and scrap the rest.
Lisa Linfield:
Absolutely, and come back in a week or two when you’re feeling like your basics are buttoned down.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Right, exactly. My bottom line and what has been really working for me is that through all of this, we need to respond with love and not out of fear because love, kindness, patience, and being a calm voice in the room, whether it’s with your clients, whether it’s with your children, your spouse, your friends, your neighbors, whoever, when you’re the calm voice that breeds hope, and hope is what heals people.
Lisa Linfield:
Absolutely. So, for many of us, maybe I just speak for myself, this year started like every other year at breakneck speed with a million things going on, and so many projects on the go, and lots of plans and lots of things that were happening. I feel a bit like I suddenly smashed into the a wall. If it was a cartoon it would be like one of those where you hit the wall and then you slide gently down to the bottom and think, “What on earth happened?” My diary was chock a block. My life was chock a block, my children’s life was chock a block, and literally in the course of now for me four days, I have the five of my family at home. My diary has suddenly changed, and the world has suddenly changed. How do we deal with this massive shock to our system?
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Yeah. I’m right there with you. Absolutely. I have two children. They’re ages nine and 11 at the time of recording this, and yeah, we are faced with homeschooling indefinitely. Luckily, I work from home already. The entire team for the Simplifiers are already remote workers. So, we are very used to being separated from each other and using online tools like Slack or WhatsApp or Trello to communicate between all of us. However, you add in this new complexity of children in your home space, and of course, the fear rising of a virus and all the other things. What I have really realized in this is that now more than ever I feel like Mother Earth is saying, “Yep, you remember when I said do less and slow down? Literally, you have to do less and slow down.”
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
So, what I’m finding for myself is that I’m simplifying down every single aspect of my life. Every single aspect, and not because oh, yeah, that’s a good idea. It’s like, no, it’s a necessity. And so, I just want to break that down in three places of where, again, what’s working in my life, and the questions that are had to consider in this rapid, shut it all down place we’re all in. One is what we consume. So, being incredibly intentional about the food that I eat, the beverages I drink, but also the news and the media that I’m allowing in through my ears, my eyes, and my heart, truly being intentional. So, when I… And again, this is base level, physiological needs, right?
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
When I’m eating healthy wholefoods, apples, black beans, vegetables, and instead of trying to get takeaway or to go food from a fast food restaurant while they’re still open, I make better choices because I’m beating myself the good healthy foods that nourish me. When I’m drinking more water than coffee, or when I’m drinking more water than gin, which to be quite frank, a couple of glasses of wine here and there or a bottle of beer if that’s your thing, certainly go for it. But when I’m hydrating myself, I think clearly. When I can nourish myself by not following what’s going on in the news as much, taking that social media break, I feel better. So, that’s one thing, really being super intentional about what you’re consuming right now. And simplifying down to what actually nourishes you.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Two is simplifying down how much we’re working. Now, many of you guys out there that are listening to this right now, you’ve been mandated to work from home. Some of you are now attempting to work from home and juggle it with young children in your home office, right? Either way, we need to reduce our expectations of what we can actually accomplish, and communicate that with our clients. I mean, trust me, your vendors, your clients, everybody is in the same boat. So, they all understand this is a reality. So we really do have to communicate that onwards and not feel bad because they’re going to understand that you’re in the same boat as they are.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
And then last but not least, it’s remembering to focus on love. I don’t mean that in a cheesy way, but truly base level. When you focus on love instead of fear, instead of panic or hoarding and fending for yourself, we truly become a community who is going to be remembered five, 10, 50 years from now as the one who goes and knocks on our neighbor’s doors or puts a letter into the post and genuinely asks, “Hey, what do you need? Do you need medicine, food or water? I’ve got extras in my pantry to share.” I mean, it’s the right thing to do, no matter if you’ve never chatted with your neighbors before. I think that we’re at that space now, depending on where you are in the hierarchy of remembering to reach out to our elderly neighbors and checking in on them.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
The last thing I’ll say on this as well is, again, what’s working for me. When I’m down at the very base of the pyramid, and I’m really worried about my physiological needs I have a Post-it note on my screen on my laptop, and on every single bathroom mirror. So everybody in my family can see it. And it simply says this, what do I need right now, in this moment? And that sounds silly, but it truly helps. What do I need? Oh, you know what? I’m thirsty. Then I need to drink a glass of water. What do I need? I need to not feel so anxious. So, I’m going to step outside and look up at the sky and just breathe three deep breaths and center myself. What do I need? Do I need to pee? Okay, well go do the thing. It’s really getting to that base level of checking in with yourself multiple times a day to make sure you’re giving yourself what you truly need right now.
Lisa Linfield:
Absolutely. And one of the things that I talked about my book that’s coming out in June is the need to also do deeply reflect. So, one of the challenges that I’ve had is around… I tend to find that the response to this has been twofold in terms of work. That the people who work in corporates are loving being at home because they feel so much more productive. They don’t have unnecessary meetings, people are not stopping in and interrupting them. And you really need to have to speak to someone to get on with the conference call type of thing. And there’s not 14 people invited to a meeting that only needed two.
Lisa Linfield:
So, my corporate friends are feeling a lot more productive working at home. My friends who work from home, including myself, are feeling like our worlds have been invaded by children and husbands and our fast Wi-Fi is suddenly not as fast anymore because everyone’s on it. I look at it this whole challenge of feeling like for me, I’ve been invaded by everybody. And I really acknowledge the need to get back into my journal and write it down because I’m not one of those people who can sit and meditate in a sense of try and resolve my problems in my own head. I need to talk them out with someone, or I need to write them down. [crosstalk 00:17:09]. As I have been going through this transition my alarm bells are ringing to such a level, which is Lis, you need to take time tonight and just write down what you’re feeling because I can’t even tell you what I’m feeling except that there feels like there’s an elephant sitting on my chest with all of this change.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Yeah, yeah. I agree. I think journaling is a very powerful tool. I do it almost daily in my regular practice of just being a human. And now especially I’m like, “Oh my gosh, don’t forget if this is a thing that nourished you two weeks ago before all the insanity started. Now more than ever, you really need to have that incorporate into your life.” And for me journaling is a seven minute task. We’re not talking about writing a book here or your memoir, though, some people I’m sure are doing that right now as a way to heal and process. But for me, journaling can be literally seven minutes, and it’s getting things up and out of you. The swirling thoughts and the tornado that’s happening in your brain that leads that anxiety and that feeling of that elephant on your chest, the second you write it down on a piece of paper, and it comes up and out of you, your shoulders will start to drop a little.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
It doesn’t mean that you’re going to magically have all the answers and know exactly what you need to do. But you’re changing your brain from panic mode to process mode. And then when it can change to process, then you can start to hear some of those intuitive nudges, if you will, that go, “Hey, what if I called Lisa,” or, “What if I did this? What if we did this differently?” Then you start to find the release. In fact, Lisa, we’ve got a little free download. If you want, I can share it with your listeners. It’s just called the Simplifier’s Morning Prompts. And again, it’s five questions, takes seven minutes. And it really helps people journal out right at the beginning of the day, what to laser focus in on in the next 24 hours? What could trip you up and how you’re going to stay on track? So, if you guys are interested in that, I can pass that on to you as well.
Lisa Linfield:
That’ll be fantastic. We’ll put a link to that in the show notes.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Great. Yeah.
Lisa Linfield:
So, Mary, one of the things I know I’ve been struggling with is around the sense of space. I saw a fantastic meme about the fact that introverts have waited their whole life for this in the sense of there’s no social engagement and all of this. But one of the challenges I’m facing, as a person who likes to recharge by myself is a feeling of claustrophobia. The inability to get up, to not have the space inside my own home. I’m fortunately placed with a big house and a big garden. How do we all create personal space in a time when we’re living on top of each other 24/7?
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Yeah. Well, again, depending on where you are in the world this is going to either resonate or not. You’ve seen the videos of people in Italy getting out on their patios at their own high rise apartment buildings and singing or playing music together and that’s their space. Their little three foot by eight foot patio space, and that’s it. That’s all they’ve got. Others of us, I live in England and I know a lot of my friends and family in the States have great big backyards that are fenced in. And so, they have a little bit of grass, maybe 20 by 40 feet, maybe. Maybe less, maybe more that they can create as that space to just take a breath.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
At the time of this recording, what the CDC is suggesting for a lot of us is if you do go outdoors to maintain at least 10 feet distance from other people. And so, at this stage I’m still getting myself outdoors. Going and having a walk, getting out into the woods near my house, taking my children out there as well so that they have a sense of normalcy. Throwing a ball or kicking a football makes a huge difference in, again, creating some of that feeling of like, “Oh, my space has been invaded.” But tricking the brain to realize that, no, actually. The world is exactly the same more or less when it comes to space, we just have to remember how to reset. How to get our brains out of panic mode and into calm. And so, that’s a bit of it.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
But then also creating boundaries inside your bubble, inside your home. So, if you have the luxury of an extra bedroom that is not being occupied by a family member, can you create that as your home office space? If not, and if your desk is in the living room, and this is a new reality, then you make with what you’ve got. But at least create a space, so that this is where I do my work, and then when it’s time to shut it down, then you can release that. I interviewed a guy on the Simplifiers Podcast a while back and he talked about with his home office, one of the things that really helps him is being able to close the doors at night and leave all of his devices in the office. And that, again, helps him shut it down when it’s time to “shut it down” at night, so that it doesn’t invade his mental space when he’s truly spending quality time with his family.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
So yeah, I think it depends on your situation. [crosstalk 00:22:36]. It depends on how much space you have in your house. But I think the big takeaway is knowing that you can still go outdoors at this point. To get yourself grounded. To create that safe space, and this is like, this is where I do my work. Whether that’s at a desk in a home office or at the dining room, and then we shut it down at a certain time at night, but creating those boundaries, communicating those boundaries to your children, your spouse or whoever else. So that everybody’s aware of what the new normal really is.
Lisa Linfield:
Absolutely. I also think one of the experiences that I’ve had over the last four days of being in lockdown is around continuously saying to myself, we will establish a new norm. The first day feels quite cool and funky, like the first day of holidays. And then by day three, you’re wanting to jump off a cliff. And I found not even on day four it’s settled. We’ve all got into a sense of which spaces we can use, how we can be, but day two and day three, it was really a challenge because we all had to adjust our routines, and as you say, most importantly, our boundaries.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
I mean, isn’t that the case? Remember a couple of months ago, at the beginning of this year, some of you guys maybe started new diets or exercise regimens and things like that. Remember that? Where you’re like, “Yeah. This is going to be it. I’m going to workout five times a week, and I’m going to do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Whatever your thing was, right? It’s the same principles. So, when you start something new and you’re really motivated and jazzed right at the beginning, and you’re like, “This is it. This is going to be great.” And that may be what happens here as well. And then somewhere right around like you say, day two, day three, or maybe even week two, week three, you hit roadblocks. Roadblocks that you weren’t expecting. Like, oh, crap, we don’t have strong enough Wi-Fi. Or, oh, crap. How am I going to figure out how to do video conference calls with a toddler who has a meltdown? Oh, crap, what am I going to do about my nine year old son who keeps eating all the food?
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
These are the things that we’re all dealing with. And so you go through that, oh, crap mode of adjust, adjust, refine, simplify, and then there’s a reckoning, if you will, where you go either this is crashing and burning, which I hope isn’t happening for you guys out there that are listening. Or you go, okay, we learned that, and we’re refining. We’re refining the 20%. We’re not scrapping the whole plan, but we’re learning as we go and getting a little bit better and a little bit better. So, it doesn’t surprise me to hear that with you guys as well that you’re hitting day four, day five, you’re hitting some new stride. You’re going to have something happen that’s going to be an oh, crap, moment, and you’re not going to expect it, and that’s okay. Because it’s happening to me and my family and in my business as well. But I think the secret is truly grace.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
You have to give yourself grace that this is a completely new way of living and working that I’ve been in business 16 years, I’ve never quite experienced something quite like this before as a business owner. You just have to give yourself that little bit of grace to say, “You know what? I’m doing the best I can, and I’m learning, and I’m keeping myself nourished, and that’s keeping my brain clear. So, I can make good decisions and tackle it.”
Lisa Linfield:
Absolutely. One of the things that I’ve been very mindful of is to ensure that I get my exercise every single day. And it’s not only for me, it’s the fact that my little girls are watching. Whereas in my normal routine, that stuff happens, I normally exercise and they exercise, they’re at school. Now, the school has sent exercise programs for them all to do. And I also feel like it’s a really important time that I can use to be an example. To show kids that you can be flexible with this stuff. My personal trainer has sent me a training program for the two days that I usually go to him. And then the other days, I usually exercise, but my kids don’t see it because either before they’ve even woken up or it’s while they wake up.
Lisa Linfield:
I’m mindful of making sure that I chat to them afterwards and say, “Goodness, my workout was tough, or I’m so glad I did it or whatever.” And provide that example that in times like these, as you say, holding on to what you’re eating, how much water you’re drinking, and the exercise that you’re doing is so important to maintaining both your stress levels, but also your health levels just in case you do get ill.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Totally. I 100% agree with that, and if exercise seems like, “Oh my God, that’s a big leap.” Just simply moving your body I think is so critically important. So I’ve got a couple of resources there, and again, I’ll put all these links to you, Lisa, so you can put them in the show notes. One is there is a DJ in Texas, and his name is DJ Mel, and just recently he did a living room dance party. Actually, he is doing them now on Facebook as a live video stream every Saturday from 6:00 to 10:00 P.M. Central Time. So, okay, that’s 1:00 A.M. South Africa time, but you can always watch the replay the next day.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Well, it is so great because it’s uplifting, beautiful music that just makes you happy. And so, you’re just like, you know what, I’m going to kick this on and I’m going to dance or whatever feels right. And I promise you listening to this music, your body starts moving, your endorphins start to rise. You could be listening to it while you’re doing the laundry or you’re cranking out all those emails. Either way is really good. And then second is the Simplifiers, we have a playlist, it’s called a Whole Lot of Yes. It is my get stuff done playlist that I literally put it on, and it’s done, and it’s just working in the background. And if you just need something to help get yourself out of the funk and get your body moving a little bit, then I highly recommend checking that out as well. But yes, when you move your body, you feel better. I mean, bottom line.
Lisa Linfield:
Absolutely. So, one of the things we were talking about is the impact on the world going forward, and I’ve been thinking quite a bit of this, especially in terms of when it comes to homeworking, video conferencing, etc. And obviously this depends on different countries in terms of your technological advancement. But I think one of the great impacts that this is going to have is a whole new acceptance of remote working for everybody. So, you and I, who are used to working from home and used to work in virtual teams, we’re quite used to using things like Slack and Trello. And also even just video conferencing, and how easy for example, Zoom is where you just click on a link and the thing pops up.
Lisa Linfield:
I found that for many people, particularly older people, and particularly corporate people, I struggle to get them to embrace how easy it is. That they don’t actually have to drive out to come and see me for a meeting. That is right there, and you can do it. I’m hoping that because of the length of time that this thing is going to go for that it will force this change of behavior. If it was only one or two weeks that everyone had to be at home, I think everyone would say, “Hey, I’ll just pick up the phone or I’ll speak to you in two weeks time.” But when you’re saying, “Okay, well, it could be a month, two months, three months,” then it actually provides the impetus for us to try these new things that are out there, but have been resistant to change and will hopefully change the face of business.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
If there is a silver lining in a global pandemic, I think this is part of it. I think we as a global society, a community, have to really rethink how we work. And again, coming back to this concept of doing less, slowing down our insane pace of what we think we can accomplish in any given day. But then also I really hope that it’s going to help big corporate and people who do work more traditional nine to five kind of jobs, for their bosses to go, “Hang on. Do we actually need people in the office in person every single day of the week?” My hope truly is, is three months from now, six months from now, whenever this starts to settle as a new normal, that when people do come back to that reality, teleworking is going to be so much more feasible because we’ve been flung into it to do it.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Yes, and I think that is going to be a good thing because, well, just take it from a global climate control, climate crisis situation. That’s less people commuting in cars and trains. That’s less pollution out in the world, all of those things. Now, I also equally believe, and this is again, where my hope sits. Maybe I’m a little bit further up on the pyramid just right now in this day. Mind you the pyramid sometimes changes by the hour for me and for all of us. But I also have this great hope that this is going to bring people together in new profound ways. And just go with me for a second.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
I believe humans need two core things at the very base of everything. Yes, water, food, rest, all that’s important, shelter. But I also think people need the ability to love and be loved. And then also to feel like they belong. And so, we as humans, yes, we are social distancing right now, and need to isolate to flatten the curve, and so that we do not get infected or be a carrier and infect other people. That’s critically important. But I do really on a deep, profound level believe that this is going to bring us as humans together in such an incredible way that in 2021 and beyond, live events, meeting together at conferences and workshops in a small space, or in a very, very large way, is going to be so critically important for us because we’re going to be yearning for that human in person face-to-face connection.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
And so, yeah, I do hold hope that this is actually the massive Mother Earth shake up that we as humans needed in order to stop the dizzying hamster wheel pace of our lives and how we work. And stop the insanity of how we isolate already, a month ago. Not talking to people on public transport, not even knowing what our neighbors names are to a place where we’re a lot more intentional about being connected in a deep, profound way.
Lisa Linfield:
Absolutely. And I also think and hope that whilst we are isolated, one of the things that I think that we all get better at saying is reaching out and saying to someone, “Hey, I just need a chat.” Whereas I think we always felt, well, I don’t want to just phone up Mary, and say, “Hey, Mary, I need a chat,” because she’s probably busy because everybody’s busy. Whereas now I think it would be much easier because of the context to be able to say, because everyone keeps saying on the news, you must reach out and make contact with people. I think it’s going to bring back that sense of being able to say, “Hey, I miss you, how are you doing?”
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Yeah, and that’s the humanity side of it, right? I mean, we are built to live as humans in community. And yeah, I think that this is going to change that stammer that we have of like, “Oh, I don’t want to reach out to her. She’s so busy. I don’t want to blah, blah, blah.” To actually go, “You know what, hey, Marilee, how are you doing? Checking in with you, just sending you some love today.” Even that simple task, I’ve been sending that kind of a message to a lot of my friends on Facebook Messenger or DMs on Instagram just saying, “Hey, Christine, how’s it going?” I just want to see how you holding up. Sending you lots of love.” That is sometimes all people need.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
I think that we get into a place or a spiral in our brain of like, “Oh, if I send that message then that obligates me to have a 45 minute conversation with them, and I don’t have any time for that.” Sometimes people just need, again, the ability to love and be loved and to feel like they belong. And so, when I send quick message to Christine and Christine says, “Man, that made my day. Thank you, Mary.” That’s you being a loving role model out in your circle of influence, and guess what? That ripples out. So, Christine’s probably going to do that to 20 of her friends over the next few months, which ripples that out, and that’s how we make positive change in the world. It’s done that way.
Lisa Linfield:
How do we make sure that we manage our own expectations of ourselves in terms of all of this? I had a huge amount on my goals to achieve this year, and I have to confess that when I was sitting, holding my cell phone above my daughter playing the piano so that we could have a video conference piano lesson with her teacher, I sat there for 45 minutes thinking, “Oh, my goodness, I could so be completing this project, doing this thing,” and then I suddenly beat myself up because I think, “Lisa, come, get to the program and enjoy sitting in on your daughter’s piano lesson even if it’s just to hold the thing.” But I feel this tear between me in terms of embracing this situation, which I know I need to do, but also a to-do-list from here to Timbuktu because the world will continue to turn, and you need to get out.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Yeah. Well, this is coming from a type A, card carrying control freak over here. So, just know that what I’m about to say is that I’m totally you as well. When you start to realize that your new normal is nowhere near what you were experiencing a week, two weeks ago, or a month ago. It takes a deep breath moment of just like, “Wow, we are here now.” And I think in the beginning days, weeks, months, there are going to be these big massive stumbles like, “This is ridiculous. Why am I holding a phone for us to do a piano lesson? Surely, there is an easier, simpler, more efficient way to do this,” and you’re going to hit those stumbles. But then you know what’s going to happen because humans are clever, somebody somewhere is going to solve that problem either with an app or a solution. And it’s going to roll out slowly to all of us.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
So, yes, you are going to do something today. I’m willing to bet if you’re listening to this podcast you’re going to do something today that’s going to completely aggravate you. Like, that is ridiculous. I can’t do what I’m actually supposed to do because this thing is happening. But that’s the entrepreneurial spirit. Somebody somewhere is seeing that pain point as well, is creating that solution, that app, that whatever to help you. So, help is on the way.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
But then also, I think, again, this is where it sounds a bit defeating but lowering your expectations of what you can accomplish now in this emergency, unusual situation is going to help you as well. So, if you lean on this side of perfectionism or you’re a go getter and you have goals to hit and you’ve got financial targets to make. And you’re like, “I am doing none of that, and it really feels horrible.” I point you back to that very famous Friends episode where Ross is trying to move a couch up the stairs, and he’s like pivot, pivot, pivot. We all have to pivot at this point. And again, pivot means, okay, I can’t do that anymore. Those financial targets I set for this month are not going to happen. That to-do-list I created for this week is just not going to happen because there are not enough hours in the day once you add on homeschooling or whatever new challenge that has been thrown into your lap.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
There is no way you can do all things because you’re just one person, you’re human. And that’s where that grace comes into play. So, pivot, as soon as you can get your brain to that space where it’s not freaking out about the physiological needs or the safety, and it can start to get into that space of accepting your new normal, then we can shift our brains towards seeing opportunity. And again, I apologize if you’re hearing this and you’re like, “Dude, I’m nowhere near there.” I know that feeling. Trust me, I was there a week ago. But where I’m at right now in the space of hope and calm is that when you focus on opportunity rather than fear. If you focus on fear, you’re only going to see things that are data points that lead to the fear, right? So, focus on opportunity, what’s the opportunity? What’s the thing I can solve for my clients, my family, my friends, my circle of influence?
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
When you focus there, all of a sudden, your brain changes. And then that’s where you can finally get to the space of like, “Okay, well, how am I going to pivot this business? Can I deliver my products and services virtually?” Which side note, if you need a referral link for GoToMeeting, which is a video conferencing tool, please reach out to me. I’m more than happy to refer you. It’s great. Or you can also start to carve out that space and time to be in the right mindset to say, “Okay, I’ve been talking about it for years to write down my business plan. I’m actually going to do it now.”
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Even focusing a short sprint of 20 minutes of time. We use a tool called the Business Model Canvas. So, when you think about writing a business plan, and you just want to shoot yourself because it’s like an 80 page document. Oh, too much. Business Model Canvas is a one page business plan. One page, way easier to eat that one than something big and massive. Then you start to get those creative new ideas, and what I call are those divine whispers, which I think we talked about earlier. It’s like that moment where you go, “What if I call this person?” Or, “What if I collaborated on this big challenge with this vendor partner that I love and trust.” That’s where we start to shift things. That’s where we get out of fear state and into opportunity space. And then we start to level set to that new normal.
Lisa Linfield:
I think that’s fantastic, and I think that is about it. There is going to be a new normal, even if it’s just for the next couple of months, there is a new normal. And the quicker we can make sure that we get through those bottom needs of safety and security and food and home and things like that, the quicker we can see these opportunities, and then start embracing and reaching out. I’ve had a number of friends and ex-colleagues who have reached out and said, “Well, how do I do this? And how do I do that?” And it’s been fantastic, and yes, whilst it definitely wasn’t in my time plan for this week, I’ve had so much joy reconnecting with people and showing them how easy it is to do a lot of these things.
Lisa Linfield:
These things are always only easy once you know how. There are so many great tools and things available to help you through this position. And also as you say, the opportunity to serve others and look outward, then create so much more joy and hope in yourself in terms of brainstorming and different-
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Totally.
Lisa Linfield:
… opportunities that weren’t on your business plan that come to your business plan now.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Right. I mean, we’ve heard the advice months and months and months ago when this was not on our radar of when you feel sad or depressed or anxious, the very best way to snap out of it is to help somebody else. And when you help somebody else, you shift your perspective and you feel that warm and fuzzy inside you of like, “Oh, I just helped her,” and then they feel the warm fuzzy because you’ve come and helped them as well. But two things I want to say on this really quick because this can be a little bit of a slippery slope. If you are helping so many people out in the world, and not taking care of yourself. Not nourishing yourself with good food, drink, and what you’re consuming as a media. You can become depleted quickly.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
And so, I want to put a little whisper in your heart if you’re listening is that just think about this, in a war, front lines, the people that are very, very front are when they’re strong. When you feel strong, and replenished, and full of hope, and full of go-get-them energy, and all that, you move to the front lines. And then when you start to feel depleted, it’s okay to drop back to the reserves, and let someone else move into the front lines. You drop back to reserves and replenish yourself. It’s your responsibility to take good care of yourself, and your thoughts and your emotions, and your actions, and your choices. You cannot control your clients, your children, your spouse, unfortunately, your friends, their actions, emotions, choices and feelings in the situation. So, when you take good care of yourself, you can serve others.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
But then the second part of this that I really want to say, and I hope if you take nothing else away than this, this is really important. It is okay for you to still lead in whatever role you play in life and not be okay. It’s okay to still lead and not be okay. Because again, we’re all humans. In any day, or shape, or hour sometimes we may feel like a 10, and like we’re rocking and rolling. We were full of optimism and hope. And then an hour later, we’re right back down to a three, and we’re feeling a little bit crushed, and that is okay.
Lisa Linfield:
Absolutely. So, Mary, it’s been such a wonderful gift to chat to you, and I’m so grateful for your time. How would people get hold of you and learn more about the work you’re doing and get to know you better?
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
Yeah. And again, thank you so much for inviting me back. I really love talking about this stuff. It’s such a pleasure to chat with you always. Wherever you’re listening to this podcast you can search for the Simplifiers Podcast, and you can find me there. We are also online. Our website is thesimplifiers.com. And our social media handle everywhere in the world, Facebook and beyond is just simply, The Simplifiers.
Lisa Linfield:
Thank you so much, and I really encourage you all to go and listen to the great episodes that Mary has there. She really has some wonderful ways of simplifying your business, your life, yourself. It’s just a phenomenal gift that you’re giving to the world. So thank you for joining us, Mary.
Mary Baird-Wilcock:
It’s my pleasure.
Lisa Linfield:
That was Mary Baird-Wilcock of the Simplifiers, and I really do recommend that you take a listen to her podcast or visit her website because she has many, many more great ways that all of us can simplify our lives. So, for those of you who are really struggling at the moment, I am thinking and praying for you all. It’s a hard time, I’m highly frustrated at being cooped up at home, and I just don’t feel like life has yet settled into the new normal. I know that, that’s just time and a process and we’ll all get there. But I really am thinking of my tribe at the moment. And I would love you to reach out and let me know how I can support you, and how I can make your life better. What you’d like to hear about, if there’s anything in particular that’s worrying you that you’d like me to chat about.
Lisa Linfield:
So, reach out, visit the website workingwomenswealth.com because there’s some amazing resources there, and some phenomenal human beings that I’ve interviewed. And I think this is one of those times where we all just have to be brave, and work out how we can pause in amongst the chaos. Lots of love to all of you. Have a great week. I’m Lisa Linfield, and this is Working Women’s Wealth.