As Dr Abby Medcalf likes to put it, talking money leads to talking ‘dirty’ with our partners!

But it’s so much more than just the money talk, right? ABSOLUTELY! How we spend our money is an external expression of the internal state of our marriages, hopes and dreams. So, when couples fight about money and time, we are really fighting about fairness and keeping score.

Dr Abby, a psychologist and author, provides sustainable help to thousands of couples and has also recently written a book, “Being Happily Married Even If Your Partner Won’t Do A Thing”. We explore a few relationship constructs and tools that will change the game, starting with setting your intention.

Show notes

  • Dr Abby’s super power of helping couples unpack their issues with practical tools.
  • The number one problem in relationships is COMPETITION.
  • Having a “better half” is a misnomer. You and your partner are a shared resource.
  • The “50-50” mentality needs to be thrown out. Fairness is fear-based!
  • Equality is not equity.
  • The paradigm of keeping score and the belief system that things won’t change.
  • The power of setting the intention of what you want from your partner and what you want to offer.
  • Why don’t couples talk about money given how important it is in life?
  • The illusion that if we don’t talk about it, it will sort itself out.
  • Short-cutting the joy of a relationship by short-cutting the planning of your future together.
  • Working through money matters and shared goals keeps you focussed on the future together.
  • A shared vision of the future allows you to make valuable trade-offs.
  • The monthly financial couples meeting outline.
  • Shifting your mindset of needing to work to choosing to work.
  • Partnering in money is partnering in life expression.

More about Dr Abby Medcalf

Check out Dr Abby’s podcast, website and book. Also sign up for the Monthly Financial Meeting Outline.

Related articles

If you enjoyed this podcast, have a listen to the secret to radical step-change, your money type, and the FIRE rule.

Download this podcast

Right click on the link here and click ‘save as’ to download this episode to your computer.